Musings

Night; the time for introspection. The time I think most about life.

Was puzzled as friends around me have this sudden craze over clubbing. Has this got anything to do with being 18? Finally legal and finally entitled to guilt-free indulgences?

I don't like noisy places. And crowded places (any obstacles that hinder my movements irk me most). So naturally a club becomes a place that I would dislike. Somehow I'm not a wee bit curious (as if I should, I'm not giving in to peer pressure and herd mentality!) about how things and humans work in the club. Acting ancient here. I wonder if I'm 18 or 81. I thought not enjoying movies is weird enough.

But everyone's choices should be respected right?

Okay now some family business. I have this love-hate-inspired relationship with momma. Love - when she spends so much money on brudder and I. Braces, buying the best mattress for us, feeding us good food. These are the ways that I recept her love. Not that she doesn't want to show love and concern in a less mercenary way, but we just don't have the time. Hate - so many, I don't even bother to list, but they are always forgotten when another love factor pops up. Inspired - when she does everything herself, her independence awes me inside out. I wanna be like her. Being able to do great things with minimal help. Like when I woke up and learnt that the 1m x 1m box containing a giant crystal chandelier (freaking heavy) is brought up the house all by herself. Not that other women can't do it but not many would choose to settle it themselves.

I guess I treasure the "inspired" part of our relationship most. She doesn't teach me things outright. These virtues are to be extracted on my own. And I like it this way because the whole process is so.. natural; observation, realisation, appreciation, then emulation. Not like you drum something into my head incessantly, at the wrong time when things said doesn't make sense.

Okay my teeth hurt and my eyes are finally dry. Slumber time.